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27 October 2006 @ 07:31 am
Theatrical Muse: Week 149: Question 149  
Name: Dr. Sid Hammerback

Fandom: CSI: New York

Word Count: 764


What do your ancestors mean to you?


To me, my ancestors are a significant part of my life. After all, they are my heritage, they are, what makes me, me. They decided what colour my eyes were, what colour my skin might be, what colour my hair was, my general physical description, and, even, in some ways, my accent. I was born, and, for a short period of time, raised in Montreal, which is in Quebec, Canada. Although I was there long enough for me to develop something of an accent, my parents soon moved to New York City, which is where I grew up. Yes, I do have some memories of my short childhood in Canada, but I actually consider myself a New York native, through and through. I still have strong ties with that land, and I speak fluent French if that helps appease any hard feelings of betrayal, but this is, and always will be, my home. This city, and it’s wonderfully vibrant culture, and people, are infused into my soul, and I can not separate myself from them. Some might think it bad, that I have been swallowed by New York City, but I do not take such a way of thinking. My home, is truly, truly, wonderful.

I do not have any brothers or sisters, so I only have a few members of family down here in NYC. Our move inspired a few others, so I have an aunt and an uncle, and a couple of cousins I can visit every now and then, but, still, even though it can be evenly balanced, in some respects, many people in my family still live in Canada. It’s hard to express, how joyous I feel when I go to visit them, even if this is a rare coming occasion. They are my heritage, my life, they are what created me, what formed me and shaped me, and, for that, I am ever thankful. Touching someone who is related to me, whether it be my blood or marriage, hugging them and combing errant fingers through their hair in an expression of greeting and welcome, is a curiously great experience. It reminds me of Discovery Channel specials I’ve watched about primates, and the way they groom each other. Part cleaning, part bonding, for me, greeting a close family member, is like that, except, without the grooming, unless, of course, it’s my super duper dust aunt, who we call super duper dust aunt, because, she can spot dust a mile away. Seriously, I’m telling, the, absolute, very real, truth. Ok, so this name reference, namely goes on behind her back, but, she knows about it, and she’s fine with such a thing.

Marianne, Michael, and, Christopher, they weren’t my ancestors, but, they were just as greatly important to me as my family, and my past. Marianne made up over half of my life, and my boys, so many good years of it. They were my everything, a part of my past, the great part of my present, and so many parts of my future to come. That shouldn’t, have, ever, been snatched away from me, but, it was, and I will regret it for every day of my life to come, and I have regretted it since the moment it happened.

They say that a psychic link is impossible between two people. People say mind reading doesn’t exist. But, when I wanted toast with some sugar, and I’d just finished off the box of cereal the day previously, the moment I plonked the hot toast down on my plate, blew off my fingers, and applied a light spread of butter, there she was, there my wife, my Marianne, was, holding the sugar pot, and a teaspoon, waiting for me to move on with my intricate making of my breakfast food. When she died, when, my boys, died, I felt it, in my very bones. I stopped, I had to force myself to go again, but the important, thing, is, that I stopped, because, I knew they were gone. They died, and I stopped, and they were gone, gone, from my life, forever. Gone from my life, gone, forever. They were gone, and, I miss them, with, all my heart, with all my heart. I always will, and I always have, and, I will, until the day I die. Until that moment comes, I will take what I have left in my life, my family, my friends, my home, my music, my work, my cooking, and, I will continue. It is what I have to do, what, I, absolutely, have to do.
 
 
Current Mood: happyhappy
Current Music: My CD - Marianne