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16 September 2006 @ 01:41 am
Theatrical Muse: Week 141: Question 141  
Name: Dr. Sid Hammerback

Fandom: CSI: New York

Word Count: 738

Name one thing about human nature that puzzles you. (Or your own species/race, if you are not human and don't wish to do this on humans.)

The human race’s ability, to continue, is, now, the thing that puzzles me the most. It is, and always has been, a cacophony of things about us, that puzzle me, but, after all that has happened, our ability to keep going, is now, one of the things, that ranks up the very top of the list. Two aeroplanes, brought about the end to hundreds, upon thousands, of lives, and, still, we continue. We have never let a tragedy, on any scale, bring us to a complete and utter standstill, never to go again. At least, we haven’t let that happen to us, as an entire population, and that has been the deciding factor between us winning, or the victory of those who choose to terrorise our shores. I’m not big political activist, by any long shot, but even I know that, if we’d ground to a halt, a victory would have been gained by those who brought around the September 11 attacks.

When they died, I didn’t begin off as catatonic. No, no, I rushed into ordered, but frenzied, activity, helping, helping, helping, always, always, helping. I was partially numb inside, and, at the same time, the other half of me was screaming with regret, shouting for a reprieve, for it to all be some horrible, gory dream that I hadn’t yet awoken out of. Not so, I’m afraid, because every bit of them being gone for good, was true. I wanted to touch their faces, I wanted to say goodbye, but, I couldn’t, touch them.

It sunk in, quickly, though, and when life began the day after those attacks, I guess, in a way, I had already realised what was coming. Sure, it didn’t completely get to my roots, until a couple of days later, but the realisation, the idea, that life, had, so dramatically, changed, for me, had sparked, and had already begun to grow.

I know fire fighters and Doctors and so many other helpful people, including Mac, were there within minutes, to help out. I went on that fateful next day, not because I didn’t want to go, not because I was selfish, but, because, I just, for the time being, wanted to remain at my own home. The panic, the fear, the unimaginable sadness and grief, struck me the moment I heard about it, the moment I glimpsed those bright orange flames on television, and, for a day, it was all I could do, just stay at home. I couldn’t force myself to go, when, that morning, I had kissed them all goodbye, less than six hours before they were to die. Twenty four hours later, though, I was there, and I helped, to the very best of my ability, putting out fires, giving stitches, even making sandwiches and getting drinks. For the time that it took us to get things sorted, we were a community, of old friends and new ones, with people who had never met before, working together like brothers.

No matter what disaster befalls us, whether it is a terror attack, a great natural disaster, a famine, a disease, a sickness, a horrible event, and no matter how great or small this event is, we continue, we, keep, continuing. And, really, it puzzles me, because I understand it so clearly. The unquenchable, human spirit, is above being destroyed, because it always has, and always, will have, an indestructible flickering flame of hope. The fact, that, I can say this, without thinking, is amazing, and puzzling, even to me. Why so, because, I could never imagine life without her, without them, and, yet, here I am, continuing, always, forever, continuing. I stopped, I began, once more, and, then, I kept going. Even if I stop now, it’s only for brief moments, brief periods of time, and, then, there I go, moving onwards again, into the future.

When I thought of them gone, before they had gone, my heart tore, and, when I thought about them being gone, after they had gone, it broke into a million, trillion, pieces. I put it back together again, and that is my strength, to keep going, to keep continuing. It is humanity’s collective strength and ability, that, no matter what kind of horrible, disastrous circumstance, may befall us, we are able to piece ourselves together again, and keep on going, and continuing, towards, and into, our future. It’s great; really, it is, really, great.
Current Mood: hopefulhopeful
Current Music: Bad For You - Alannah Myles