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09 November 2008 @ 08:30 am
Theatrical Muse: Week 256: Question 256  
Name: Dr. Sid Hammerback

Fandom: CSI: New York

Word Count: 974

What do you hope for?

When you think about it, there are many distinctions between what a person hopes for, what a person needs, and what a person wants. We each create, in ourselves, a personalised set of desires and inclinations that drives what we want to succeed at or obtain during the course of our lives, or within certain periods of it, such as childhood or adulthood. What we hope for, or desire, and what we need, are separate entities of thought, and it is these ways of thinking, different incarnations of which are favoured by different people, which make us who we are as individuals. What we favour makes us particular towards some things, and avoiding of others, and thus, makes us special. In succession, it often occurs that our desires, our needs, our hopes, our wants, draw us together with similarly likeminded or opposite minded people, and therein we have social groups, cliques, or people who we inherently avoid. It’s all very interesting, really.

What a person hopes for is, on most occasions, something positive, that might benefit them in some way, or bring them happiness. People hope to win the lottery, people hope that their landlord might wait a few more days o remind them that their rent is due, they hope that their sick cat gets better, they hope that they will be happy. Alternately, as I have come across in my job, people hope for others to die, they hope for accidents, misfortune and other horrible things. When it doesn’t magically happen, and believe me, death can be like that, then some people chose to go past their optimistic desires, and take personal actions. At this point, is it important to point out the difference between strong hopes and whimsical hopes. Those hopeful thoughts, made with whimsy intact, such as hoping for your nemesis to break a foot, are just that, practical whimsies that let the mind relieve itself of anger or pain through meaningless, harmless thoughts. Strong hopes, however, of a negative nature, are more harmful, as they often belie a stronger intention to harm. People who sit and contemplate on these horrible thoughts, can be led to act on them, and as a result, we get grievous bodily harm, supposed accidents and intentional murder.

As it can be seen, then, I generally prefer more positive hopes. I myself, and I take it this is what the question was asking, well, I hope for many things. I hope for happiness, I hope for a secure life, a secure job, and a world where harm happens not on a regular basis. Because I don’t overshoot the make, I am generally happy with the world I live in, because long ago I have accepted the fact that some people are evil, and some people kill, and murder, whether by accident or with intention. Either way, death itself provides me my job, and while I would prefer that the people I see in my morgue had continued living their lives as they were, I accept that this is just how life goes. We actively try to reduce criminal activity within our society, we put preventative measures in place, we do what we can. People still die, we deal with it, and we move on. I say this without a pinch of salt, of course, because I have lost a lot too, and I have seen life from both sides, affected by death, and unaffected. What happens, happens, however, and there is no reversing time, only fixing the damage that has been wrought against society, or the individual, as it were.

In my youth I had some hopes based only in thoughts that could never truly succeed as being realistic. I hoped that I’d stay with my wife forever, I hoped that my childhood pets would never die, that I’d never have to move on from point in my life where my happiness seemed optimum. Of course, while these hopes may have been realised in saving a pet from death, in revisiting a favourite teacher years down the track, in marrying my wife, in making a life four ourselves, I cannot absolutely say that, forever and a day, these hopes were answered on a permanent basis. Some things in life can only ever be mere extensions of one moment, one single duration of happiness or contentment, that is never, perfectly, everlasting. This, however, is the curse and the blessing of humanity, that we are so varied and thoughtful creatures.

In the future, I hope to continue finding a better inner peace. I know, there is no absolute answer to what has befallen me, no true proven, absolutely one hundred percent chance of success method to answer or solve the absences in my life, but at the very least, I can try to better myself, and to find a better inner peace and happiness. Right now, I am in a very good place in my life, I am happy once more, and I have learnt that I am still able to love, but I am not so proud as to not improve myself anymore. That is what constitutes hopes as not just something, some thought, based in unreality and imagination. People who hope, usually, most often, hope for something better, because they know that their lives, that themselves, can be improved on. While people who hope for happy things, may already be happy in themselves, they are not so selfish or down and out that they wish for nothing more. I think, in the end, that is why I find hoping for something such a useful, fanciful and entertaining notion. We hope because some hopeful thoughts can come true, and even if they don’t, we are better off having been happy and whisked away for a moment in joyful thought, than never having been happy at all.
Current Mood: hopefulhopeful
Current Music: Hands Open - Snow Patrol