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14 August 2007 @ 01:46 pm
Theatrical Muse: Week 191: Question 191  
Name: Dr. Sid Hammerback

Fandom: CSI: New York

Word Count: 859

Where do you see yourself in twenty years?

In twenty years, I see myself, providing that I am still alive, gradually approaching eighty. I hope that, in twenty years, I will have kept my sharp mind, my wit, and some, if not all, or most, of my stamina and vitality. I can imagine that, then, I may not be working, but I would like to think that I would have a few years left ahead of me, as someone I know now, also in my line of work, is around the age I would be in twenty years, already. He still does a very fine job, thank you very much, so we’ll have no inquiring questions about his professional ability.

Really, two decades ahead, I can imagine that I may, most likely, be in very much the same position as I am now. Yes, I will be older, but if luck has it, I’ll still be in the same home. Either way I go about it, working or not, I’ll have a bit of money stashed away, some savings I can use to live off. If I am retired, who knows, I might go on a holiday, or try to take up a profession that allows me to pass on my knowledge to others. Maybe I could do occasional consultation work, who knows. I know I won’t be working in a kitchen, but at the age of approaching eighty, I still like to think that I’ll be able to cook for myself. I have no intention, believe you me, of letting myself go, becoming lazy and invalid, if I can damn well help it.

Besides that, while this is regretfully so, and sadly so, I don’t, I won’t at that point, have anyone who could realistically force me into a nursing home and take over my life. Even though I doubt whether I would have let that happen, anyway, if my sons were still around, being that they aren’t, it isn’t something that I worry about. Not that I ever did, really, but it was a point of humorous conversation once, between me and my wife, a long, long time ago, another world away. I think we may have been mildly drunk at the point we brought that up, but we did have it all planned out. If the boys were going to try and move us out of the house, and into some dank little apartment with cruel nurses and weird orderlies, then we were going to move to a little air conditioned shack in Mexico, by the sea somewhere. I jest though, I jest and ramble.

Honestly? In twenty years time, I am not foolish enough to not realise that the world will, indeed, be a very, very, incredibly different place. Views will have changed, we will have discovered new things, found cures, created technologies and become aware, even, of new threats to our society. Pollution, global warming, rising sea levels, all that has the great potential to be incredibly worse. While I am not going to worry constantly about a future where the apocalypse is nigh, I do know that things in life may be worse. The thing is, though, in twenty years time, during the course of those twenty years, providing that I do not die, am not killed, and do not get ill with a looming death sentence, something will be the same. It is assured, that, if I am alive then, I will have simply lived the past twenty years as a relatively good person. I will have loved, and continued with the knowing of what I have lost in the past, all that was horribly ripped away from me when it never should have been so.

If Marianne, Christopher and Michael were alive now, then my answer to this question would be vastly different. If they were alive, in twenty years, I may be hoping to see grandchildren of my own. I would be hoping to still be married to my wife, if she were still alive, and would have liked to still be doing some of the things we had done before, with her then. I would imagine that my two sons would have grown up, and found their niche in life, and were happy with themselves. If they married, then so be it, and if they didn’t, I would simply be happy for their company. I would expect that the contents of my house would change as different eras of children, to teenagers, to adults, had lived through it.

Now, though? Now, in twenty years, I expect a lot of change, world climate, pollution, politics, public thought, music, fashion, technology, medicine, and even crime solving, even forensics. Now, I expect that, in two decades time, well, I hope to be alive, and I hope to be continuing with my life in a way that I desire and see fit to do. In this hypothetical future, I will be alone, I know that. Once two decades of time pass, I am confident I will still be alone and single, but, really, with all the memories I have, even now, I’ve long since accepted that fact. I honestly, really have.
Current Mood: thoughtfulcertain
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