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15 April 2007 @ 07:15 pm
Theatrical Muse: Week 174: Question 174  
Name: Dr. Sid Hammerback

Fandom: CSI: New York

Word Count: 978


Would you ever kill a human being (or if you are not human - would you ever kill a being from your own species?).


Have I ever killed a person? No, I have not, if that is what the question is really trying to ask. I know some cops and a couple of CSIs who have, in the line of duty, shot someone and had it been fatal, but that is only ever in the line of duty, of course. Being that I am a Medical Examiner, working in a morgue, who does not have permission to even carry or use a gun, then no, I have not killed someone. Nor would I ever want to, providing that they weren’t threatening to end my life, and killing them was the only alternative possible at that precise moment in time. Would I kill a criminal to save my life? If he was threatening me, yes. Would I push someone out of a boat if it was sinking, and that was the only way to keep myself afloat, no, not really, unless they too, were threatening to kill me and the other supposed passengers of this imaginary vessel.

I would kill someone in self defence, yes I would, if it had to come that far. I would not, randomly, in the middle of the street, kill an innocent person, however. As it goes, If I were in a burning building, I’m the kind of person who would find himself somewhere in the middle of people needing immanent saving, because really, I have lived a good life, so far, and children have so much life ahead of them to lead. I find it hard, talking about life like this, because it is a belief of mine, that life is to be valued. What right have I, honestly and truly, to place myself above or below in importance, another human being, when as the saying goes, we were all created equal?

One might ask, if I value human life this much, then why in the world did I choose to become a Medical Examiner? I do not think it is the antithesis of life, though, working with death, no, I do not. Surrounded by death each day, while this is a bit cliché, I do value my life in a larger, different way to how I might have considered it, had I not taken his particular career path. I am but one type of person, though, and death has long since ceased to be a fact that, in its occurrence and presentation, is one that bothers me. As it is my job, I have taken an interest to the matters of death, how they occur and how they show themselves to onlookers who don’t know all the facts or causal factors that brought about the snuffing out of a human life. To me, doing what I am doing, I am helping people who can’t help themselves, aiding them to aid the criminalists in turn, to find out who, or what, did such a thing to them. I help to retrieve and document evidence from death, to make a better case out of the proceedings that follow, so that they aren’t ignored completely and left to the wayside.

Ignoring religion for the most part, I do see death as a factor that comes to anybody, of course, irrelevant of who and what they are. It comes faster to those who smoke and drink to excess, faster so to those who do such things on a very high level of frequency. If you are looking only at the natural side of things, then death is prolonged for those who take good care of themselves, but our world really isn’t that black and white, is it now? Young people die of cancer when it isn’t fair, and old people who are good citizens still get bashed in the streets and run over by cars. Death, in itself, is not so much a fair act, it is simply one of an inevitable nature, which we can never really predict. If your cancer goes metastatic throughout your body, then yes, you may die of cancer, but you may get run over, or suffer a heart attack or a multitude of other things.

Keep in mind, I am not a killer, I would never kill without rhyme or reason, because I do not believe or condone such acts, especially as I work as one of the very people who help to put criminals such as that, behind bars or under due punishment. I would, I could, kill in self defence, or to defend someone such as myself, who was being attacked, and was equally as innocent, but that is a last resort matter, when there is no alternative but to cause bodily harm. To disarm, is not to kill, it is a different matter. In disarming, you disable the body, but in killing, you end a life. Everyone is the child of some parents, whoever those parents are and however they come about.

Could I kill for just reasons, yes, for unjust, no. Either way, if I ever kill someone, the thought would hang with me, that once, somewhere, they were loved, by someone. Some of the killers I see in my line of work, do not see that, and others, are trying to ignore it while it sits there, right in front of their faces. Meanwhile, I am behind it all, cutting and dissecting, telling my stories and examining the bodies that pass into my domain, to be examined at my hands. When it comes to it, death is never really fair, whether it is done accidentally, naturally, in self defence or through an act of terrorism or delight. But it happens, and it leaves people behind, and I will deal with the aftermath of such grisly occurrences, as long as I am able to, because what I am doing is a good thing, done for good reasons, with good intentions.
 
 
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