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06 April 2007 @ 02:41 pm
Theatrical Muse: Week 172: Question 172  
Name: Dr. Sid Hammerback

Fandom: CSI: New York

Word Count: 577

If you could pick anyone in the world, alive or dead, to be your parents, who would it be and why?

Fortunately for me, my parents are still alive. Although it can be thought of as odd, my saying, fortunately, I do not find it so, for I know various people who have lost a parent to the passing of time, or otherwise. For people my age, it is usually time, although, I have known of other circumstances, usually sickness, or accidents, but, sometimes, even murder. That being said, I do not know a significantly large amount of people who have lost a parent, or parents, in any form, but it is present. Present because I’m getting older, and more poignantly so, in some cases, because, even though it isn’t a parent, I’ve already lost loved ones. I know what the pain is like, what the loneliness is like, and so I attend the funerals I get invited to every so often, and stand and sit there with an air of knowledge about me. I know what it is like, I know what pain and loss is like, and it is horrible, truly horrible.

I am glad that my parents are still alive, really I am. Both my father and my mother have been indestructible towers of strength for me, throughout my life, and so clearly after the deaths of Michelle, Christopher and Michael. They have supported me always, and, I made them proud grandparents. Christopher loved them both, and Michael was endlessly fascinated with my father’s hair, as well as my mother’s. Michael tried to imitate my father when he sat at his desk working through some of his paperwork, although, he hadn’t quite yet grasped the concept of being orderly. He would give a small shout of frustration, as my father does sometimes, and then throw his papers everywhere. And piece of paper, covered with scribbles of imitation work, and drawings of people, animals, trees and flowers. Not terribly detailed mind you, but, they were wonderful to all our eyes. He was learning so fast, and growing so rapidly, and, Michael, was always there, watching out for him, and occasionally messing up his hair.

I’m sorry, although it is not a bad thing, I think I, well, to be honest, I don’t really think I trailed off. Knowing every factor possible, that you can gather, about a circumstance, is often the best route to take, and, although it may make you shiver, although it may make one feel, burdened, learning, taking in, what you can grasp, is a great thing.

I have always known that there will be a time at which each of my parents will pass on, will die. I will bury them, as any dutiful son should, and I shall mourn and grieve them. I will not do such a thing, and let it be false, because, when these occurrences, happen, the fire of missing will spring back into my very present forethought. I will miss them, I will miss my mother and my father, for as long as I live, because, they will, eventually, at some point, be gone from my side, gone from having a living presence in this world. I will not be alone when this happens, but, I will be, lonely. So, until that time comes, I try not to think about it, and, moreover, enjoy what time I have left with two people so full of life, love, generosity, knowledge, and intense, intense, caring. Without my parents, I would not be here, today, in more ways than one.
Current Mood: okayokay and grateful
Current Music: Weapon of Choice - Fatboy Slim